Balance

For the past few months, I have been simply overwhelmed by the number and caliber of joys in my life.  I have approached others, just overflowing with wonder, and asked them, "You know how when it rains it pours?  When so many people's lives are an absolute shit-storm all at the same time?  Did you know that can happen with the good stuff too?"

So many things have led up to this time in my life.  I have been blessed with a richness beyond compare.  But most of the richness has been tempered by trial.  I am reminded this last week why that is so important.

As the incredible, overwhelming wonders of this pregnancy are met with "possible complications" these last few days, I have struggled to keep my head up a couple of times.  And this will continue to happen as we make just a few more doctor's appointments than originally expected, and as we find out more.  But the thought I can't shake all day and all night is about where joy comes from.

Without strife, there is no such thing as joy.  If life were easy, there would simply be no context for happiness.  The good would be whitewashed by all the other, constant good.  If we didn't experience the occasional shit-storm- these long weeks of so very many things challenging us and our strength all at the same time- we would be found taking the rest of it for granted.

At the end of today, I find myself being grateful for these days of overwhelming stress.  Thank you, Life, for giving me some perspective.  For keeping my life so rich that I don't risk taking ANY of it for granted.  That long, long before my "wise" years I am fortunate enough to see my blessings in front of my face and to recognize the significance of so many wonderful details.  And for reminding me that no matter how scary it may be to get there (especially up against some of my expectations and hopes), whatever else we may learn, I am still about to be a Mom, which is all I've ever wanted.  And I was smart (okay- and lucky) enough to wait until my kid could have a great mom and the very best dad. Ever.

I am full of gratitude and love right now, and I hope you can feel it too...